.png)
.png)
Dear teenage self,
For someone who is proud of being different, you sure do love to follow what everybody else is doing. And I don’t even blame you. It’s a funny dichotomy that you won’t understand for another decade, and even then, it’s a constant pain to grapple with.
The world provides you with a set of rules for what to do, which can be really helpful! Make eye contact, but don’t stare. Speak up, but don’t interrupt. There’s no harm in listening to this—in fact, it’ll get you some really positive results! So, when they also say that you need to go to college and get married and buy a house and have kids and if you don’t do it all by a certain age you’re a worthless piece of shit, there’s no reason not to listen to that, too. Right? Everybody else is doing it, when you look around, so they must be onto something. And why should this be any different than all the other rules, which have worked out well for you so far? Maybe it’s a little weird and not natural for you, but none of this is.
So, uh…
The thing about being different is just that. You’re different.
See, “different” is fun until it’s not. While it’s good to be proud of who you are, it’s also not a sign of weakness to acknowledge that sometimes there are, in fact, downsides that come with differences. Just ask any marginalized person ever.
Maybe you need certain accommodations to get by in a world that’s not designed for you. And maybe you don’t need to be planning your life around some theoretical future that, if you truly thought about it for a couple of minutes and trusted nothing but your own heart, you obviously do not even want.
Do not try to reshape yourself to fit a mold. It won’t work, and worse, it might even break you. Instead, go on an adventure. Make art for the sake of making art, because you want to. Wear ugly clothes because you know they’re comfier. Don’t even bother saving up for a house because your entire generation is screwed anyway. When you need help, when you feel out of place, when you don’t want to conform, become your own leader.
It’s a lot easier to adjust your environment to fit you when you’re an adult. You can fill your home with white noise machines, you can get your groceries delivered, you can pick a career path that doesn’t require a corporate nine-to-five in an office filled with angry old men who are constantly sneezing on you as you walk by to grab your paper cone full of room-temperature tap water. Of course, many truths of reality, many forms of oppression, are much more severe and challenging to cope with than this. But when you’re a teenager, it’s all so much worse, from the big stuff to the small. It feels like you have no power anywhere, no control over anything, and you’re just stuck dealing with it all like a barrage of slaps to the face.
It’s okay to scream and cry and be frustrated and find solace in spending your allowance on posters of your favorite celebrities and ditch homework to roleplay on Neopets.com and eat Nutella straight from the jar and hide from the world because it hurts. But when you think about the future, and wonder if there even is one out there for you, know that you have more to look forward to in life than “the path.” The future can be whatever you pave it to be (to an extent. Sorry, me, but you know we’ve always been a realist.)
But the point is, there is so much more out there for you than you’re allowing yourself to believe in. You’re going to power through some traumatizing bullshit to get there, and I’m really proud of you for that. I just wish you knew earlier that being different doesn’t mean there’s no place for you, or that you have to contort yourself into an uncomfortable box. That knowledge could have saved you a lot of trouble in the end.
And lastly, wear your fucking retainer.
Thank you. Love you.
Comments