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Hey Li’l Pam,
First of all, let me warn you that you’ll have this nickname WELL into your adult years. That just goes with the territory of being named after your favorite aunt. But hey, you could be called worse. At least your dad will finally break his habit of calling you, “Snookums.”
Now that the Band-Aid has been ripped off, I can guess you’re probably doing one of three things:
1. Rewatching a Leonardo DiCaprio movie.
2. Reading a book.
3. Attempting to write your own book in one of your tattered notebooks.
Do you know what all three of those things have in common? They all involve you staying in your room. Alone. No more chorus and dancing and sleepovers for you. You’ve been burned enough by so-called “friends” that you’ve found safety in your own thoughts and words, as well as the thoughts of words of authors you admire (special shout-out to Jodi Picoult and R. L. Stine). And there’s nothing wrong with that. At least, not completely. You have to study the greats in order to become great, though you still believe being a published author is out of your reach. But can I let you in on a secret?
You’ll become a published author. Heck, you’ll even become an award-winning published author. That’s right. People will like your words enough to toss accolades at you. Wild, right? Can I let you in on another secret?
You’re going to start leaving the house and trusting people.
Yes, you. The introvert girl from Newport News, Virginia, whose best friend is your mama and favorite past time is…well, any of those three things mentioned above. You’re going to live in a dorm. You’re going to get four degrees (including that MFA in creative writing that you’ve always wanted). You’re going to work in a small rural town where your neighbors celebrate hunting season and confederate flags, and learn to love yourself and others in that community. You’re going to live for a few years in a different state outside your hometown and purchase a home there. You’re going to get a passport. I know, right? And you’re going to travel to England and Trinidad and Panama—and you’re actually going to have speaking engagements there!
(But let’s try not to forget that passport expiration date again. You still haven’t had a chance to visit Italy.)
Even better than all the traveling is that you’re going to make friends again. I know, I know. Making friends as an adult is kinda…awkward. But you survive! You go from cancelling plans at the last minute, to partying on Bourbon Street with some pretty cool people. You’ll have friends who visit you from out of state, and friends for whom you’ll travel to attend their weddings. Friends who help you celebrate your first baby shower. (Oh yeah, you’ll have two adorable kids, by the way, who will hardly let you get any rest.) One of these friends will become so close that you’ll consider her a sister.
I know all of that sounds pretty daunting, but the cool thing about it all is that these experiences make you a better writer. That’s why you’ve been having writer’s block already. You haven’t gone to many places and spoken to many people for a LONG time, but when you do, the ideas will come to you.
So, I’m not telling you to ditch the notebook. I’m telling you to take that notebook with you as you explore new things. I promise—it’s less scary than you think. Or maybe it is…you’re just braver than you give yourself credit for.
With love,
Still Li’l Pam
P.S. Don’t worry, Leo finally does win an Oscar.
Pamela N. Harris was born and somewhat raised in Newport News, Virginia — also affectionately known as “Bad News.” A former school counselor by day, she received her BA in English and a master’s in school counseling at Old Dominion University, her MFA in creative writing at Fairleigh Dickinson University, and a Ph.D. in counselor education and supervision at William and Mary. When she isn’t writing, Harris is re-watching Leonardo DiCaprio movies, playing with her two kiddos and pretending to enjoy exercising.
“When You Look Like Us,” an Odyssey Award winner for Excellence in Audiobook Production for Young Adults, as well as a finalist for SCBWI’s Golden Kite Award for Young Adult Fiction, an NAACP Image Award nominee (2022) for Outstanding Literary Work: Youth/Teens, and a 2022 Edgar Award nominee for Best Young Adult novel, is Harris’ debut novel. Harris’ second young adult novel, “This Town is on Fire,” is out now. She lives in Williamsburg, Virginia. Find out more about her at pamharriswrites.com.
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